In the beginning....

God created the heavens and the earth. He saw it and said it was good. Then He created the never-ending diet. Just kidding.

I feel as if I have been on a roller-coaster for about half of my life. A roller coaster that has taken me to heights (my heaviest) I have never seen before...and also some really big lows. I hesitated starting a weight-loss blog. For those of you that know me you probably know that I have a few obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I love having a sense of control (I know, I know...I am learning to let go) over things in my life. I have slowly but surely been learning to relinquish some of that control with God's help, but it is still a battle. One area that I have attempted to control...almost to unhealthy measures...is my weight.

When I was a junior and senior in high school I became very obsessed with my weight. What adolescent girl isn't? But I crossed over into the unhealthy "area" when I began skipping meals, pushing myself to exercise excessively, and counting calories to ensure I was "under" how many I had allotted myself. I was not taking enough calories to even compensate for the amount I burned in everyday life plus exercise. I remember for my Junior prom I wore a dress that was an XS. I thought I looked fabulous...until I saw pictures. My face was drawn, my skin was somewhat ashy and I didn't look happy. What I thought I was achieving - beauty - was actually the furthest from the truth.

It took some time to get my weight and mindset back to "normal". Since then there have been several times when I have started to slip down that slope again. The end of my freshman year of college, before my wedding, after my wedding, and even now after having my first child. Every time I had a great reason to lose weight (losing that freshman 15, looking great for my wedding, looking great after my wedding, losing baby weight). All of these reasons are valid, but I could feel myself going back to that place in my mind where I obsessed over everything I put in my mouth, counted EVERY calorie I consumed and burned, and started to deny myself any kind of "treat". Losing weight/exercise was what I thought about before I went to bed...and it was what I thought about when I woke up. I don't know about you...but I have WAY more important things to think about.

So in an effort to NOT go overboard, I would often over compensate and stay away from the gym, eat whatever I liked, and avoid the scales. This proved to be even worse and would often eat (no pun intended) at my self-esteem. So where is the balance? How do I stay healthy and fit without it taking over?

I don't really have an answer except that I have to be concious of it daily. I have to work hard to keep my mind in a healthy place. Through prayer and the help of my husband I am doing it so far. I guess for that reason, this blog will be more accountablity for me than actually documenting my weight loss. I AM trying to lose weight and I AM trying to get healthy. But the right way!

So here is what I am doing right now.

I have really been focusing on getting into a regular exercise routine. I go to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings before work. It is actually pretty nice to do that because then I get ready there and have a little "me" time (sit in the Sauna...get ready without a husband or baby beckoning). While at the gym I *typically* do about 20-30 minutes on the elliptical, 15-20 minutes on the bike, and then spend the last 10 minutes on the weight machines (usually working on arms). Sometimes I change it up and I have started covering the face of the machine that tells me how many calories I have burned. I try not to count...but I admit I peek from time to time.

Now that it is nice outside I have been taking walks with Gracelynn in the evenings. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday evenings I try to go on a 1.5-2 mile walk. She loves it and eventually falls asleep in the stroller. These are not leisurely walks...I usually walk the two miles in about 30 minutes. I also do my abs and arms at home. I have a resistance band that I work on my arms with and then do crunches at home in the evenings before bed and in the mornings before work. I don't know how much good the crunches are doing since I have more loose skin than anything, but it is worth a try.

As far as eating I am just trying to make good choices. I eat smaller portions, stop when I am full, cut out soda (or drink a Coke Zero) and have gone down to one travel mug of coffee each day. I snack when I am hungry but I keep healthy snacks at my desk. When I am in the need of something crunchy and salty I reach for a cheddar rice cake instead of chips. If I am in need of something sweet and cold I reach for a frozen yogurt bar instead of chocolate chip cookie dough. I find that these things curb those cravings without all the extra fat, calories and sugar. Oh and drink water, water, water. So how am I doing so far...I've lost some weight, but as I said I try to avoid scales if possible. I have cut down to weighing myself one time each week at the gym. Mondays are weighing days...and that is it.

So here is my background...and here is where I am now.