I'm here, I'm here. I just haven't posted in a long time.
Despite my absence from blogger I have still been trying to keep up with a healthier lifestyle. It hasn't been easy. I am in the final 5 weeks of my internship. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings I have either class, clients or supervision. This is BRUTAL on any kind of diet/healthy lifestyle. I have tried several different ways of handling this...some good, some not so great.
1. Not eat. Bad, bad, bad, bad! I guess in an effort to not eat something completely horrible, I went the opposite direction and just wouldn't get anything at all. I would typically crash...and often turn to whatever was closest (not always a good thing either)
2. Eat whatever is most convenient. Once again, not a great idea. Around the school and clinic area are a wide variety of fast food joints. Have your pick: McDonalds, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Burger King, Quiznos, LJS...and the list goes on. Stopping and grabbing something would often completely sink my eating habits for the day, and many times leave me feeling icky and bad about myself.
3. Find something (anything) on the aforementioned joints menus that might be acceptable. I have actually been pleasently surprised. Wendy's and McDonalds have awesome chicken ceasar salads...only 350 calories total (WITH the salad dressing). I leave off the parm cheese and crutons. But with the chicken it is a great meal and leaves me satisfied and feeling good. Quiznos is another option that isn't all together bad. If I choose a low cal sandwich on wheat it isn't too bad. An oven roasted turkey with cheddar sandwich (small) is only 240 calories. The regular (medium) size is only 420. Combine either of these two meals with a bottled water, and I am good to go.
As far as other choices I am still working hard to make the right ones. And that doesn't always mean denying myself. For instance...all week I had been craving a Wendy's frosty. I mean REALLY craving. It doesn't help that there is a Wendy's RIGHT by my office. To make matters worse, I wanted a Frosty Twister (w/ choc chip cookie dough) (480 calories, fyi). So all week I resisted. Then last night during our break from class, several of the other ladies were going to get ice cream. I had to make a choice. I chose to get a frosty. Not the twister but the medium chocolate frosty. It was amazing and totally worth the "splurge".
The exercise is coming along too. I have spent increasingly less and less time in the gym and more and more time outdoors with Gracelynn. It isn't as concentrated a work out...but I am still active. I have also been doing a routine at home every evening and working on my arms every morning. Once again...probably not as long or as intense as what I was getting in the gym, but I just don't have time for that at this moment. I would rather get some exercise hanging out with my daughter than sweating it out in the gym on the treadmill.
So there you have it. Any progress??? I haven't a clue what I actually weigh right now. I used to weigh at the gym and I haven't been in in several weeks. I haven't dropped a total size yet, but my current size fits me looser and much better. All in all, I feel pretty good. There are still times that I look down at my tummy and cringe, but overall I am pretty happy with my body.
Bottom line for me: Ben loves me and Gracelynn doesn't care what my tummy looks like. And that is alright with me :)
Friday, June 27, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Life Lessons from Stress-eating
Anyone else noticed how much stress can impact your diet routine. It is as if your whole "plan" goes right out the window when your stress level spikes. The past few days I have been pretty stressed out with work, school and personal stuff. In general I have just felt as if I have been running from one place to another...and not really getting anything done. UGH! I hate days (or weeks) like this!
So there I am in the midst of the most stressful days and it hits me like a mac truck (mmm...Big Mac???) that I want junk food. Why? What in the world will junk food do for me? Make me feel momentarily better...only to leave me void and empty in the long run? I was craving everything in the book...pizza, ice cream, chips, chocolate, anything fried. If it was "bad" for me...then I wanted it.
What do you do when you need a way to cope? Turn to the right thing or the wrong thing? I have consistently faced this question in my life...and not just with food. When things are tense between my husband and I, I often turn to my girlfriends to vent rather than talk it out with him. When things are stressful and busy at work, it isn't uncommon for me to avoid the source of conflict or work overtime, killing myself to get it done when I should really go to my supervisor and request respite of some kind. Or even worse, when I begin to feel my spiritual life slip how often do I turn to God seeking His wisdom? Rarely. Instead I turn to things of the world. Just like junk food, these "wrong" alternatives often leave me feeling void and empty...and no closer to a resolution.
Don't get me wrong, eventually I find my way to the right choice, but only after I have circled the block a few times. What an incredible waste of time, especially when I know just what (or Who) I should be going to. I want my mindset to be that when faced with these sort of problems or stressors that the first thing that pops into my head is the "right choice", whatever that may be.
So how does this apply to my diet? I realize more and more that "dieting" and being healthy is just as much a state of mind as it is a lifestyle. If I work so hard to exercise everyday and I watch what I eat most days, but my focus and way of life doesn't change, what good is it? Do I really want to be on a diet for the rest of my life??? Not even remotely. So the task at hand is not to make it just a practice, but rather who I am.
Does this mean I will never be tempted by the delicious looking billboards with pictures of cheeseburgers and fries? Or that when I am stressed I won't crave a big bowl of ice cream or a Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll? No...not even. But I hope that when I am faced with the decision, my next thought will be a healthy one.
So there I am in the midst of the most stressful days and it hits me like a mac truck (mmm...Big Mac???) that I want junk food. Why? What in the world will junk food do for me? Make me feel momentarily better...only to leave me void and empty in the long run? I was craving everything in the book...pizza, ice cream, chips, chocolate, anything fried. If it was "bad" for me...then I wanted it.
What do you do when you need a way to cope? Turn to the right thing or the wrong thing? I have consistently faced this question in my life...and not just with food. When things are tense between my husband and I, I often turn to my girlfriends to vent rather than talk it out with him. When things are stressful and busy at work, it isn't uncommon for me to avoid the source of conflict or work overtime, killing myself to get it done when I should really go to my supervisor and request respite of some kind. Or even worse, when I begin to feel my spiritual life slip how often do I turn to God seeking His wisdom? Rarely. Instead I turn to things of the world. Just like junk food, these "wrong" alternatives often leave me feeling void and empty...and no closer to a resolution.
Don't get me wrong, eventually I find my way to the right choice, but only after I have circled the block a few times. What an incredible waste of time, especially when I know just what (or Who) I should be going to. I want my mindset to be that when faced with these sort of problems or stressors that the first thing that pops into my head is the "right choice", whatever that may be.
So how does this apply to my diet? I realize more and more that "dieting" and being healthy is just as much a state of mind as it is a lifestyle. If I work so hard to exercise everyday and I watch what I eat most days, but my focus and way of life doesn't change, what good is it? Do I really want to be on a diet for the rest of my life??? Not even remotely. So the task at hand is not to make it just a practice, but rather who I am.
Does this mean I will never be tempted by the delicious looking billboards with pictures of cheeseburgers and fries? Or that when I am stressed I won't crave a big bowl of ice cream or a Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll? No...not even. But I hope that when I am faced with the decision, my next thought will be a healthy one.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
In the beginning....
God created the heavens and the earth. He saw it and said it was good. Then He created the never-ending diet. Just kidding.
I feel as if I have been on a roller-coaster for about half of my life. A roller coaster that has taken me to heights (my heaviest) I have never seen before...and also some really big lows. I hesitated starting a weight-loss blog. For those of you that know me you probably know that I have a few obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I love having a sense of control (I know, I know...I am learning to let go) over things in my life. I have slowly but surely been learning to relinquish some of that control with God's help, but it is still a battle. One area that I have attempted to control...almost to unhealthy measures...is my weight.
When I was a junior and senior in high school I became very obsessed with my weight. What adolescent girl isn't? But I crossed over into the unhealthy "area" when I began skipping meals, pushing myself to exercise excessively, and counting calories to ensure I was "under" how many I had allotted myself. I was not taking enough calories to even compensate for the amount I burned in everyday life plus exercise. I remember for my Junior prom I wore a dress that was an XS. I thought I looked fabulous...until I saw pictures. My face was drawn, my skin was somewhat ashy and I didn't look happy. What I thought I was achieving - beauty - was actually the furthest from the truth.
It took some time to get my weight and mindset back to "normal". Since then there have been several times when I have started to slip down that slope again. The end of my freshman year of college, before my wedding, after my wedding, and even now after having my first child. Every time I had a great reason to lose weight (losing that freshman 15, looking great for my wedding, looking great after my wedding, losing baby weight). All of these reasons are valid, but I could feel myself going back to that place in my mind where I obsessed over everything I put in my mouth, counted EVERY calorie I consumed and burned, and started to deny myself any kind of "treat". Losing weight/exercise was what I thought about before I went to bed...and it was what I thought about when I woke up. I don't know about you...but I have WAY more important things to think about.
So in an effort to NOT go overboard, I would often over compensate and stay away from the gym, eat whatever I liked, and avoid the scales. This proved to be even worse and would often eat (no pun intended) at my self-esteem. So where is the balance? How do I stay healthy and fit without it taking over?
I don't really have an answer except that I have to be concious of it daily. I have to work hard to keep my mind in a healthy place. Through prayer and the help of my husband I am doing it so far. I guess for that reason, this blog will be more accountablity for me than actually documenting my weight loss. I AM trying to lose weight and I AM trying to get healthy. But the right way!
So here is what I am doing right now.
I have really been focusing on getting into a regular exercise routine. I go to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings before work. It is actually pretty nice to do that because then I get ready there and have a little "me" time (sit in the Sauna...get ready without a husband or baby beckoning). While at the gym I *typically* do about 20-30 minutes on the elliptical, 15-20 minutes on the bike, and then spend the last 10 minutes on the weight machines (usually working on arms). Sometimes I change it up and I have started covering the face of the machine that tells me how many calories I have burned. I try not to count...but I admit I peek from time to time.
Now that it is nice outside I have been taking walks with Gracelynn in the evenings. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday evenings I try to go on a 1.5-2 mile walk. She loves it and eventually falls asleep in the stroller. These are not leisurely walks...I usually walk the two miles in about 30 minutes. I also do my abs and arms at home. I have a resistance band that I work on my arms with and then do crunches at home in the evenings before bed and in the mornings before work. I don't know how much good the crunches are doing since I have more loose skin than anything, but it is worth a try.
As far as eating I am just trying to make good choices. I eat smaller portions, stop when I am full, cut out soda (or drink a Coke Zero) and have gone down to one travel mug of coffee each day. I snack when I am hungry but I keep healthy snacks at my desk. When I am in the need of something crunchy and salty I reach for a cheddar rice cake instead of chips. If I am in need of something sweet and cold I reach for a frozen yogurt bar instead of chocolate chip cookie dough. I find that these things curb those cravings without all the extra fat, calories and sugar. Oh and drink water, water, water. So how am I doing so far...I've lost some weight, but as I said I try to avoid scales if possible. I have cut down to weighing myself one time each week at the gym. Mondays are weighing days...and that is it.
So here is my background...and here is where I am now.
I feel as if I have been on a roller-coaster for about half of my life. A roller coaster that has taken me to heights (my heaviest) I have never seen before...and also some really big lows. I hesitated starting a weight-loss blog. For those of you that know me you probably know that I have a few obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I love having a sense of control (I know, I know...I am learning to let go) over things in my life. I have slowly but surely been learning to relinquish some of that control with God's help, but it is still a battle. One area that I have attempted to control...almost to unhealthy measures...is my weight.
When I was a junior and senior in high school I became very obsessed with my weight. What adolescent girl isn't? But I crossed over into the unhealthy "area" when I began skipping meals, pushing myself to exercise excessively, and counting calories to ensure I was "under" how many I had allotted myself. I was not taking enough calories to even compensate for the amount I burned in everyday life plus exercise. I remember for my Junior prom I wore a dress that was an XS. I thought I looked fabulous...until I saw pictures. My face was drawn, my skin was somewhat ashy and I didn't look happy. What I thought I was achieving - beauty - was actually the furthest from the truth.
It took some time to get my weight and mindset back to "normal". Since then there have been several times when I have started to slip down that slope again. The end of my freshman year of college, before my wedding, after my wedding, and even now after having my first child. Every time I had a great reason to lose weight (losing that freshman 15, looking great for my wedding, looking great after my wedding, losing baby weight). All of these reasons are valid, but I could feel myself going back to that place in my mind where I obsessed over everything I put in my mouth, counted EVERY calorie I consumed and burned, and started to deny myself any kind of "treat". Losing weight/exercise was what I thought about before I went to bed...and it was what I thought about when I woke up. I don't know about you...but I have WAY more important things to think about.
So in an effort to NOT go overboard, I would often over compensate and stay away from the gym, eat whatever I liked, and avoid the scales. This proved to be even worse and would often eat (no pun intended) at my self-esteem. So where is the balance? How do I stay healthy and fit without it taking over?
I don't really have an answer except that I have to be concious of it daily. I have to work hard to keep my mind in a healthy place. Through prayer and the help of my husband I am doing it so far. I guess for that reason, this blog will be more accountablity for me than actually documenting my weight loss. I AM trying to lose weight and I AM trying to get healthy. But the right way!
So here is what I am doing right now.
I have really been focusing on getting into a regular exercise routine. I go to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings before work. It is actually pretty nice to do that because then I get ready there and have a little "me" time (sit in the Sauna...get ready without a husband or baby beckoning). While at the gym I *typically* do about 20-30 minutes on the elliptical, 15-20 minutes on the bike, and then spend the last 10 minutes on the weight machines (usually working on arms). Sometimes I change it up and I have started covering the face of the machine that tells me how many calories I have burned. I try not to count...but I admit I peek from time to time.
Now that it is nice outside I have been taking walks with Gracelynn in the evenings. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday evenings I try to go on a 1.5-2 mile walk. She loves it and eventually falls asleep in the stroller. These are not leisurely walks...I usually walk the two miles in about 30 minutes. I also do my abs and arms at home. I have a resistance band that I work on my arms with and then do crunches at home in the evenings before bed and in the mornings before work. I don't know how much good the crunches are doing since I have more loose skin than anything, but it is worth a try.
As far as eating I am just trying to make good choices. I eat smaller portions, stop when I am full, cut out soda (or drink a Coke Zero) and have gone down to one travel mug of coffee each day. I snack when I am hungry but I keep healthy snacks at my desk. When I am in the need of something crunchy and salty I reach for a cheddar rice cake instead of chips. If I am in need of something sweet and cold I reach for a frozen yogurt bar instead of chocolate chip cookie dough. I find that these things curb those cravings without all the extra fat, calories and sugar. Oh and drink water, water, water. So how am I doing so far...I've lost some weight, but as I said I try to avoid scales if possible. I have cut down to weighing myself one time each week at the gym. Mondays are weighing days...and that is it.
So here is my background...and here is where I am now.
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